


Worse than Death

by poorly



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst, Arguing, F/M, Jealousy, M/M, Spoilers, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:42:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25461118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poorly/pseuds/poorly
Summary: "You made sure to burn the image of that menacing glare to memory, knowing that you wouldn’t want to risk trying to see it again."
Relationships: Undertaker (Kuroshitsuji)/Reader
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

You didn’t want to feel this way towards him. 

You wanted to hate him. Despise him. Detest him. 

But as much as you tried, your heart wouldn’t allow you to.

He wasn’t like anyone you ever met before. He was handsome, charming, and brilliant. Yet deceiving, wicked, and cold. All at the same time.

As much as you pretended not to care about him, you’d often find him creeping into your thoughts. His grip on your heart and soul was suffocating, like if any second he could end your short mortal life.

Right now Undertaker stood over the infamous white coffin, gazing at the un-moving body of the half dead Phantomhive twin, that lay within. 

You worked in his shop, occasionally helping with coffin making, but your main job was handing all the shops paperwork. 

It wasn’t a few months after he hired you that you stumbled across the body. The dangerous look in his eyes, as he told you that this must be kept a secret, still gives you chills. It wasn’t long after that that you discovered his true identity as a Shinigami. Sometimes you told yourself that you only stayed out of fear of what he’d do to you if you tried to leave, but you knew that wasn’t true.

Despite all of these feelings you held for him, you still kept up a strong front. Any chance you got to hurt him, you took. Whether it was a rude comment, gesture, or just flat out laughing at him. Anything.

But it was no use. He would just smirk and laugh at you, as if you were a child having a tantrum. That’s another thing you hated, no matter how hard you tried you’ll always just be a human. You needed him more than he needed you. And this terrified you. 

As you watched him gaze softly at the still body, you couldn’t help but feel a tinge of envy. While you didn’t know the story behind him and the Phantomhive’s, you knew that he truly cared for them. And attempting to reverse death, was his own twisted way of displaying this. How you longed for him to care about you like that, with such unwavering devotion.

Sensing your longing gaze, he looked up. Beautiful green eyes hidden behind thick grey bangs. 

He smiled widely at you, “He’s sleeping” he giggled, bringing his long slender finger to his lips in a hushing motion.

You scoffed moving towards the coat rack to grab your jacket. 

“Sure, you bloody freak” venom laced your words. He simply laughed louder, completely going against his previous request for silence.

“Freak? Hehehehe…maybe you’re right!” He was shaking with laughter now, tears streaming down his cheeks. 

Wiping a tear from his eye, the laughter calmed, “Yet here you are.”

You opened your mouth to form some sort of response, but nothing came out. The lack of words could be blamed on how breathless his stare left you. But you knew it was because you didn’t want to accept the true reason why you stay. 

Your lack of a response only seemed to make him grin wider. 

Stomping to the door, you roughly grab the doorknob. But before exiting the shop you let one last comment leave your lips.

“ ‘Least I’m not obsessed with some dead brat”, the words left your lips before you could even think. Bringing the death of a poor child into your insults was a new low.

Half way through the door you turned to apologize. But you were met with menacing green eyes, that bore two holes into your soul. He stood more silent than you’ve ever seen him. The deadly aura he was giving off made your heart pound and hands shake.

You couldn’t decide whether you should still apologize, or run. You choose the ladder and fled from his gaze. 

The cool London air hit you hard as you moved quickly down the street. Even as your heart pounded in your chest, you couldn’t help but let a smile form on your lips. Despite the fear that still clutched your mind, you felt an sense of pride. You finally broke through that facade of his. 

You made sure to burn the image of that menacing glare to memory, knowing that you wouldn’t want to risk trying to see it again. 

His patience for a human could only go so far.


	2. Chapter 2

The ship creaked as the walking dead moves closer to you. The man behind the raising of the dead stood in front of you. He held out his hand, a fake smile adorning his lips.

After you and Undertaker’s little “fight” you expected it to be awkward between the two of you. But it was the opposite, if anything it was almost as if he was giving more attention than usual. 

Whenever you’d come into work he’d stop whatever he was doing to ask you about how your day was. Or he’d ask you to take more breaks with him to sit down for some tea.

Whatever the case, it was starting to freak you out. But as much as it freaked you out, you were feeling something else too. Excited. 

You were finally receiving the attention you always secretly desired. His beautiful eyes would linger on you, making your heart race.

When moving around you he’ll place a hand gently on your back, the warmth searing your skin.

When he offered you tickets onto a cruise you were beyond excited. The more time with him the better in your eyes.

Looking back now you should of known something was wrong with the whole ordeal. 

But you didn’t have time to slap yourself in the face. The corpses were getting closer and you had to make a decision.

Undertaker’s hand was still extended towards you waiting for you to accept it.

“Let’s go, love” the term of endearment made your heart pound. A part of you begged you to run, but a louder part of you yearned to reach out for his hand. 

And that’s what you did. Your hand reached out for him and grasped it gently. He smirked and pulled you towards his chest. This position felt so intimate, so real. It almost made everything feel alright. Almost. 

But you forced any doubts you had to the back of your mind. Holding onto the Undertaker as he jumped away from the sinking ship.

Undertaker laughed lightly watching your trembling form. But you were too distracted by the cries coming from the ship to notice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also take requests on my [tumblr](https://writefandoms.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> I also take requests on my [tumblr](https://writefandoms.tumblr.com/)


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